A Vampire's Desire
by notzark
Summary: The forbidden love between the living and the undead. A comedic BangxRachel story, not meant to be taken seripusly. Read at your own risk!


A response to those who cannot figure out the reason behind this coupling; Rachel Alucard and Bang Shishigami, although both very elegant in their own specific ways, find it difficult to show more time with them together, because it'd be as strange as attempting to fit a mountain into a rabbit hole, but _I assure you_, the following reasons will open up your eyes and see that, out of all of the so-called 'shippings' out there, this is by far the most canon:

…umm…

* * *

A deep sigh came from a young girl sitting in the middle of a flower garden, in attempt to break the still air of the night. She was still in her white night gown, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes as she was sitting there with tea. No one else was outside with her at the time; she couldn't sleep in the middle of the night and tried to tire herself through some herbal tea. She didn't like the taste of it at all; it seemed like it wasn't any kind of liquid she had ever tasted before. If she would connect it to something, it would have to be…

A unwelcome yet familiar voice came from behind her. _"Strange to not see a spoiled brat with her dolls, eh?"_ Rachel turned around; ready to snap back a witty comment, but she only saw her red roses that have always kept her company.

"Must be my imagination," she told herself and went back to sipping the undelightful concoction.

"How could it be? Your imagination can't even best that of an over-worked stock broker," slithered the voice. "I mean, just look at your day-to-day routine…"

She looked back again, but was welcomed with only the back of her black and dark grey chair along with her plants. "Who's there? Show yourself!!" she demanded, but the rose's collective silence was the only thing that answered. She began to look around her, starting to catch paranoia from this voice.

"…_Everyday, in and out, trying to make sure that the world is safe, constantly directing other people to their dooms…"_ the voice continued, now directly behind her. _"I think you've in a rut! So much that…"_ Before she had a time to react, scaly arms have successfully constricted her arms to her body. She panicked and tried to scream, but the terror of being caught unguarded had not sunk in completely yet. Her body started to float off of her chair, her feet hitting the table, and she tried with all of her strength in her neck to turn around to see her captor.

"…that if it was a snake, it would have bit your head clean off," were the words that slithered out of Terumi's mouth and ringed in her ears. She trembled as her eyes made contact with his, unable to move now any part of her. She felt like a rag doll, unable to do anything but endure what unknown horror Terumi had in mind.

"In fact…" Terumi grinned wildly, showing off his razor-sharp teeth and his dreadful yellow eyes. "That sounds like a perfect idea!" His mouth gaps open, revealing rows upon rows of those carnivorous teeth, dripping with saliva. He moved in for the kill when…

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"Unhand that charming maiden, you monster!" A roar came from the heavens as a silhouette of a full-grown man was rocketing towards the monster and the girl. The villain looked up at the sky, only to be introduced by a very muscular right fist, which was so bold in its arrival that it made the monster released his captive maiden while forced down to the ground. The little girl clumsily stepped forward, caught her balance, and turned around to see the man behind the fist.

Looking from behind her crouching rescuer, she could only see the red scarf miraculously flowing in the wind as well a giant, shiny nail covering most of his lusty back muscles and his very well-toned ass (his green pants was also contributing covering _that_ up, but was doing a very terrible job to leave something for the imagination). Terumi tried to scramble back to his feet as the newcomer stood up.

The newcomer declared as he prepared his large nail for a strike, "I, Bang Shishigami, the vigilante of Love and Justice, will wipe you from the face of the Earth!" Terumi, not believing that anyone could knock him down, had a look on his face as if a train was about to collide with him as he looked up to Bang.

Terumi snarled and snapped, "I'd like to see you-" but Bang left no window of opportunity for Terumi to even finish his comeback, penetrating Terumi's stomach with the nail from afar. Then, in an instant, Bang was enveloped in flames, as if sheer manliness was excreting from his body, and rushed Terumi to finish him off with one final blow.

"SUPEEEEEER… BAAAAAAAAAAAANG!" was the last thing that roared in Terumi's ears as his face was utterly pulverized by the flaming right hook of Bang and the manly flames incinerated both Terumi's body and his soul. Several quick seconds after the impact, the heroic flames exploded into cherry blossom leaves that gently fluttered down, leaving Bang to be only clothed by his scarf and his briefs.

After witnessing something so miraculous, something so manly, something so amazing from a dreamy hunk, the girl felt twitter patted and her legs gave. Bang rushed towards her and caught her just in time.

"Do not threat, my lady," Bang softly spoke to her as he held the girl against his ripped torso. "Nothing will harm you now."

"Oh, Bang…" the girl sighed, rubbing her cheek against her savior's lovely and magnificent chest.

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Back in the real world, Rachel was sound asleep in her bed, a smile on her face as she gently rubbed her face against her pillow, as if she was embraced by a loved one. She jolted awake when some of her saliva on her pillow touched her eyelid.

"B… ang?" she mumbled as she sat up in her bed. She looked around in her bed chambers, unable to locate her knight in shining armor. "That was… a dream? But haven't I seen that man before?"

Rachel had no idea what in the world led to her to do something uncivilized as drool in her sleep. Was it a hallucination conjured by a fever, or some magic? Or maybe… it was those faint mortal instincts etched in her body yearning for another, yearning for someone of such sheer manliness, someone…

"That's just _ridiculous!_" Rachel muttered to herself as she got out of bed. "There is no way that I could be attracted to such a…" Thinking about the half naked, chiseled man made her blush deeply, and she shook her head as if trying to shake it off.

"…maybe I should look into this. Perhaps if I find this 'Bang Shishigami', I'll know for sure."

* * *

And so ends this chapter of this probably one-shot story. Hope you guys laughed at it for more than its horrible writing!


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